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Be Kind To Confidence.
By Karyn Holt
Phenomenal confidence is something that we are born with … in abundance!
When we are babies we don’t know what we look like or care about our looks either. We have lots of people coo-ing over us, we hear how gorgeous, cute, cuddly and lovable we are. We thrive on these compliments, our subconscious mind takes in all of the amazing words we are hearing. Although we can’t actually see very well, our sense of hearing is fully developed. We have been hearing everything said around us, about us, whilst we were in the womb and our subconscious mind has been absorbing every single word we have heard.
As we grow our sight improves, we now see and hear everything around us and our subconscious mind continues to absorb all of this information, it starts to attach tags to everything we see, hear, feel, taste and smell. As babies, we are fed that sweet, sugary nourishing milk and we only drink what our body needs until we feel satiated and happy. Our subconscious mind tags this is pleasurable because our hunger is satisfied with something sweet. This is one of the reasons why, in later life, we reach for chocolate, biscuits and cakes when we feel the need to be happy if life isn’t going so great!
As we progress through our younger years, we do age appropriate things like not eat all of the food placed in front of us because we’re no longer hungry. Our bodies don’t want any more food because we’re full our hunger is satiated, just like when we were a baby and we stopped drinking the milk. However, adults around us can sometimes get angry and tell us that we have to eat everything otherwise we can’t go out to play, watch TV or “there are starving children in this world”. Our subconscious mind then tags this event that we MUST eat everything on our plate whether we want to or not. This can lead to a pattern of overeating and obesity because we are made to feel so guilty for not eating all food placed in front of us. We then start to pile on weight, think so badly of ourselves that our confidence starts to plummet. We begin to feel worthless and unloved like we’re just not good enough any more.
We can be sitting in our parent’s bedroom as our mum gets dressed, watching her looking at herself in the mirror and crying. We hear her say that she’s “fat” and “ugly” and “that she’ll never be thin” when in reality she isn’t! Our subconscious mind takes in these images and words and starts to create the tag that a certain size is fat! Whilst the comments seem innocuous to our mum, our brilliant subconscious mind has set the pattern “you’ve got to be thin to be beautiful”.
As a parent myself, I can confess that I have been guilty of some of the above because I didn’t know any different then! I hadn’t studied Rapid Transformational Hypnotherapy so I had no idea that the words and images I was saying were creating tags in my daughter’s amazing subconscious mind and how detrimental that could be! I was setting her up to believe that to be beautiful and loveable she had to be thin! I recoil in horror now knowing that I had a negative impact on my daughter’s confidence, that I had instilled these negative thoughts and beliefs in her brilliant, wonderful subconscious mind. When, what I should have been doing was loving myself, being positive and confident, showing her that she needs to be her true self, confident and positive and happy in her own skin … loving herself for being amazing and unique!
Children’s minds really are like sponges, they absorb all of the words and pictures around them, the positive and the negative. Every person wants to raise happy, confident, positive children, it’s our role as adults. But not every person is familiar with the working’s of the subconscious mind so they do not understand how their words and actions can influence a child’s thoughts and beliefs from an incredibly young age! This applies to parents, the wider family, teachers and anyone who has contact with children!
So I would like to ask people to reflect on how they vocalise their beliefs about themselves and others in front of children. Let’s encourage children to embrace that special talent or gift that they have. After all, not everyone is academic but that doesn’t mean that they are stupid, it simply means that they are brilliant at something else. Let’s embrace children’s creativity, participate in drawing or singing or dancing with them, it will make them feel even more connected, worthy and loved. It will also increase your own confidence and endorphins, thus improving your mood and your sense of worth and lovability!
Children are our future so isn’t it time to ‘Be Kind To Confidence’ ours and theirs! Let’s love them, praise them, embrace them, encourage them for being their true selves, after all, we are born being our true self! We are all unique, yet at the same time, we are all the same because of our deep-rooted need to be connected to others. In this Age of Transformation, it is us, the adults, that have the power to ‘Be Kind To Confidence’ … the power to change the things we don’t like about ourselves so that we can be the most phenomenally confident version of ourselves. The Ripple Effect then starts, our happiness, positivity and confidence impact the lives of those around us, especially children! Let’s start raising, encouraging and educating positive, confident, beautiful children today by forgiving, accepting and loving ourselves.
Let’s BE KIND TO CONFIDENCE!