The Key To Jealousy By Kate Caddle When we compare ourselves to others, the issue isn’t in noticing the difference between the other person, and ourselves. We hit discomfort because we give away our power. And when we give away our power, we lose connection to...
There is no time like the present.
By Winnie Mabena
In every human experience happiness and purpose are want of fulfilment. Optimizing it is a process which remains a challenge to many as this is thought for that; being happy and enjoying life are like luck and chance at the gaining tables. This extends to thinking that happiness is for the rich and famous. Others think it’s all about finding a perfect partner, perfect job, perfect house, material possessions and of course not forgetting the elusive quest to be loved by all or surrounding ourselves and what we are supposed to do to another person.
These Ideas leave many finding themselves falling into a trap of focusing on negativity or living in defeat and of course still in self-distractive behaviour like poor self-image, vices and emotionally unstable behaviour all which are a recipe for disaster. This should not be the case for we are all made in the image of the divine; beautiful and powerful.
When something happens to you, you begin to magnify everything from the lenses of negativity without giving yourself a chance to focus on the positive side. This is quite common in all of us but we must build a system to stop then and engage into problem-solving. It’s not every situation that leaves us vulnerable to be only a victim hoping for victory but sometimes we need to allow ourselves to be a student of the circumstances first then graduate to be a teacher by focusing on the positive side of things. This must be a quick action as the longer we take to realise the best out of the situation the deeper we sink into the worst of the situation.
Even in relationships; we must ask ourselves what we have learnt and what we are learning so we can avoid “history repeating itself” and manage current relationships while embracing the future relationships to come. Thus it’s important to know when the relationship has outlived its purpose or has become toxic or unmanageable, knowing when to let go and knowing when your time up. This is important in life regardless of the type of relationship.
We must cultivate skills and not regrets from life’s challenges and circumstances; skills to act upon the events that occur by transforming them into something positive or ideal. Thus personal development is crucial as it will address the growth that one needs to have for emotional intelligence, relationship management, communications skills and personal productivity. These skills will work against all negative aspects of life while working on a lifetime project of mentorship which can be supported by grandparents, family, senior members of the society and family, pastors, priests and professional life coaches. We have mentors all around us and we can use them to cultivate these life skills. This shows us that we have the ability to decide on the kind of attitude to have over the events that occur in our lives.
Being happy is a matter of will and decision though unfortunately, others surrender to past, present and future events. If you surrender your happiness to the things that must and those things you expect do not come to pass, you will become the most unhappy person. What a way to live!
We will always remain with a choice to choose how to act, feel, react and think about what we get caught up with.
On contrary other tend to believe in God or their supreme being for fear of going to hell or condemnation but that robs one true happiness. One must believe in His or Her supreme being because they have come to conformity with who is; knowing Him and building a relationship with Him. That is a journey to spiritual fulfilment and happiness is in there.
It’s therefore important to learn to control our thoughts and emotions in order to avoid undesirable or unwanted reaction towards the events that occur in our lives on a day to day basis. This can be made possible by being realistic in our expectations, exercising self-discipline, learning to shift from sorrowful thoughts to finding something that will distract one from ill thoughts and finding something to help one focus on his or her dreams. Find your dreams and stay on course for them.
Yes we all want the best for ourselves and we all seek fuller expansion and fulfilment but we should put a guard to our ambitions to allow ourselves to grow from where we are and go through the process. This will help us attain optimal happiness and peace in the end even when the results are adverse.
Sometimes take a pose, quite your life deliberately and switch off to social media, electronic devices, noise, sometimes friends and relatives so you can listen to your own voice and your own thoughts which will tap you in or reconnect you to the divine frequency. This will include asking yourself deep self-introspective questions, say; what motivates me? When you know what motivates you, you become better able to stay on course, develop self-confidence and exude the best out of the simple and ordinary things.
When you begin to allow yourself envision satisfactory results, experiences and contemplate on them, room for sad is quickly closed up and this leaves you feeling liberated even amid challenges. Thus your ability to always engage in positive thinking will always keep you fulfilled and satisfied.
As humans, we are social beings and want to interact so our creative juices can continue to create new worlds of experience. Therefore, we must not overlook the fact that happiness is also associated with how we relate to others since we can not do life alone. We must, therefore, work at developing, nurturing and nourishing good interpersonal relationships. Communicating effectively, understanding, being courteous and respectful will also enhance and strengthen relationships which can bring out satisfying results and leave us feeling all happy and living joyfully.
Never postpone joy or happiness for the future due to challenges or circumstances at present. Be happy where you are but don’t be comfortable. Allow yourself to enjoy the simple things of today even if not all workouts as you planned or hoped for. Choose to focus on the positive side always as you let go the past events that were negative so they should not affect or spoil the now.
“ As the ageless saying goes there is no time like the present.”