Bridging the gap between your “True-Self”, and your “True Happiness” is easier than you think, especially if you know how to go about it. Often when we experience feelings of unhappiness, it’s usually because we have completely abandoned ourselves, and forgotten who we truly are. Did you know that self-abandonment often leads to unhappiness and failed relationships? Speaking from personal experience, when we abandon ourselves emotionally, physically, and financially, we develop a tendency to make other people around us responsible for our feelings of self-worth and wellbeing. Making other people responsible for our feelings not only leads to a culture of blaming and complaining, but it also means that we are putting pressure on others to fulfil our emotional needs. This then causes problems in our relationships, and we eventually lose sight of who we truly are.
When we think about losing ourselves, we generally think of it in the sense of a romantic relationship, losing ourselves in a dance, or even our workload. You can also lose yourself in family, friends, and daily routine activities. One reason for this is because we find it way too easy to look for our value externally, rather than looking internally for our confidence, wellbeing, and self-esteem. When we choose to look for these things elsewhere, our worth often becomes rooted in our job title, the salary that we earn, the type of car that we drive, as well as many other materialistic things.
In addition to the above, you may not even be aware of all of the things you tell yourself you need to do before you can be considered worthy. This is a typical negative self-talk and an obvious sign that you may have lost touch with your true self. Take a look at the following checklist and ask yourself if any of it actually resonates with you:
Do You Have A Tendency To Justify Your Decisions?
“I’m not going to do x today because I did x yesterday. I just don’t feel like doing x today even though I should”. If you have to justify not doing something then you’re most likely straying from your main goal or objective. If you choose not to do something without the attachment of guilt or need to justify, this is a sure sign that you’re staying true to yourself. Of course, this is different if you are coming up with justifications to appease someone else.
Do You Often Ignore Your Instincts or Your Intuition?
When you say or do something that isn’t true to yourself, you tend to feel a sensation in your gut area. This is your body’s way of communicating with you in the form of your intuition. People sometimes consider the gut feeling to be a physical manifestation of guilt, instead of thinking of it as a gift, which you should listen to, rather than ignore. Often when you ignore your intuitive gut feelings, you end up making fear-based decisions, which you are more likely to regret at a later date. Take a moment to consider the number of times you’ve ignored a negative gut feeling about a new relationship, then later regretted not going with your initial gut feeling? Consider your feelings and emotions at the time of ignoring your gut feeling. Were those feelings and emotions steeped in fear? If so, then I encourage you to challenge yourself by finding the right tools and techniques to help you overcome those fearful emotions. This will empower you to confidently follow your gut feelings, and make intuitive decisions that are supportive of your life goals and life purpose.
Do You Bury Your Head In The Sand And Ignore Bad Emotions?
Your emotions are an insight into your own intuition. Anger means you’re prepared for change. Guilt means you’re not aligned with who you are. This is just a simple access point to your emotions. Ignoring bad emotions stops you from learning the life lessons that are being presented to you by the universe. Listen to your bad feelings and act upon them in a positive way, as these bad feelings when acted upon constructively can prove to be your greatest teachers in life. Many years ago I had a bad feeling about a web design company that I hired for one of my websites. The company turned out to be an absolute nightmare to deal with. The experience actually inspired me to learn how to design my own websites. It may have taken me a few months to get there, and in hindsight, this is a typical example of how bad feelings don’t always have to end in bad outcomes.
Do You Abandon Yourself And Focus On What Other People Are Up To?
A bit of gossip, critical negative self-talk, and judgement of others, are some of the ways that you abandon the person you truly are. They may not seem like a big deal at the time, but they do add up and create a snowball effect, and before you know it, you’ve lost your true self. If you do have moments where you feel like this, I suggest that you make the choice to act in a positive way that feels right for you. It’s worth bearing in mind that whatever you put out into the universe is exactly what you get back. In other words, if you don’t enjoy being gossiped about, or judged, then simply make the choice to be kind to others.
Always remember that your environment is an exact reflection and an accumulation of all your life choices and behaviours towards yourself and other people.
Do You Over Promise And Break Promises?
It’s fine if you break a promise to yourself once in a blue moon but if it’s a habit, then you most likely have a problem. When you tell yourself you’re going to do something and then you don’t, it doesn’t feel good, and you are more likely to create a gap between you and your true self. One of the ways to overcome this issue is to set yourself realistic goals and timescales for getting things done. This requires a good level of planning and organisation skills. We often put ourselves under unnecessary pressure, by over promising, in an effort to please other people, even if it is to our own detriment. The next time you find yourself in this situation, ask yourself whether you are doing it for yourself, or for your ego. If you’re doing something just to please your ego, then the chances are that you are not being true to yourself.
Do You Attract Drama Into Your Life?
Drama is exhausting and unnecessary, and I’m sure we’ve all been there, for one reason or another. When you engage in drama, you become distanced from your true yourself. Drama is likely to leave you with a lack of energy, and low motivation to be devoted to what matters you. Drama is also the perfect way for you to avoid the fear you have about chasing your dreams. It pulls you from your focus and often leads to procrastination. At the root of procrastination is fear and avoidance. You can’t be true to who you are if you’re avoiding yourself. The two things are total opposites. When you stop feeding drama and keep your focus on you, the drama will cease to be a distraction. I am definitely speaking from experience here, because a while back after a relationship breakup, I continued to engage in the drama of the breakup. This prevented me from focusing on launching my new business, which then led to procrastination. The moment I made the decision to step out of the drama and stopped reacting to it, I was not only able to launch my business. I was also able to open the doors to a flood of new and positive opportunities in my life. I highly recommend trusting the process of life and letting go of unnecessary drama.
Do You Feel Bogged Down And Burdened By Life?
As most of us tend to live a busy life, we quite often don’t realise the burden we carry upon our shoulders until it’s lifted. When you repeatedly choose to abandon yourself, that choice weighs heavily upon you. When you make the decision to choose yourself, and you stay true to the person you are, you tend to feel so much lighter. When you choose your true desires you feel a lot more unburdened by life. The next time you are feeling unhappy with your life, or certain aspects of it, consider bridging the gap between your “True Self” and your “True Happiness by referring to the self-abandonment checklist above. It is good practice to do this on a regular basis, as it plays a fundamental role in helping you to maintain a balanced and happy life. This process, which I refer to as self-recalibration plays a vital role in getting you back to your True-Self, and True-Happiness. If you need a little assistance in achieving this, you can always contact me at www.nachintu.com
Intuitive Energy Healer & Mentor, Natural Health Enthusiast, Natural Health Researcher.